"[Victoria Beckham is] too short to be a diva. We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she's rude. She can't always just be having a bad day." -- SMH via SocialiteLife
According to History.com, yesterday marked the 183rd anniversary of Carnival in New Orleans. So it's only appropriate that I post a clip about my favorite part of Carnival, the Society of Ste. Anne parade -- which this heretofore unknown (by me, anyway) documentary calls the "St. Ann's Parade". There's more info about the 1827 festivities below.
On this day in 1827, a group of masked and costumed students dance through the streets of New Orleans, Louisiana, marking the beginning of the city's famous Mardi Gras celebrations.
The celebration of Carnival--or the weeks between Twelfth Night on January 6 and Ash Wednesday, the beginning of the Christian period of Lent--spread from Rome across Europe and later to the Americas. Nowhere in the United States is Carnival celebrated as grandly as in New Orleans, famous for its over-the-top parades and parties for Mardi Gras (or Fat Tuesday), the last day of the Carnival season.
Though early French settlers brought the tradition of Mardi Gras to Louisiana at the end of the 17th century, Spanish governors of the province later banned the celebrations. After Louisiana became part of the United States in 1803, New Orleanians managed to convince the city council to lift the ban on wearing masks and partying in the streets. The city's new Mardi Gras tradition began in 1827 when the group of students, inspired by their experiences studying in Paris, donned masks and jester costumes and staged their own Fat Tuesday festivities.
The parties grew more and more popular, and in 1833 a rich plantation owner named Bernard Xavier de Marigny de Mandeville raised money to fund an official Mardi Gras celebration. After rowdy revelers began to get violent during the 1850s, a secret society called the Mistick Krewe of Comus staged the first large-scale, well-organized Mardi Gras parade in 1857.
Over time, hundreds of krewes formed, building elaborate and colorful floats for parades held over the two weeks leading up to Fat Tuesday. Riders on the floats are usually local citizens who toss "throws" at passersby, including metal coins, stuffed toys or those now-infamous strands of beads. Though many tourists mistakenly believe Bourbon Street and the historic French Quarter are the heart of Mardi Gras festivities, none of the major parades have been allowed to enter the area since 1979 because of its narrow streets.
In February 2006, New Orleans held its Mardi Gras celebrations despite the fact that Hurricane Katrina had devastated much of the city with massive flooding the previous August. Attendance was at only 60-70 percent of the 300,000-400,000 visitors who usually attend Mardi Gras, but the celebration marked an important step in the recovery of the city, which counts on hospitality and tourism as its single largest industry.
P.S. Jonno some great photos during the Carnival festivities of 2006. To me, the crowds seemed as big as ever, and that Fat Tuesday was one of the most beautiful on record.
Honestly, if I had seen this ad when I was that kid's age, I might've started smoking even earlier, just to get some action. But then again, I've always been precocious. Oh: and trampy.
I quit, by the way. (Smoking, not being trampy.) As a matter of fact, I stubbed out my last cigarette six years ago this very day. Celebrate, w00t, raise the roof, call me on my videophone, etc.
P.S. Yes, I have other issues with this ad -- not the least of which is its implication that sucking dick is a terrible, terrible thing. The shot is inherently, outrageously homophobic, informing viewers that gays are pederasts, being submissive is bad, and so on.
In fairness, there IS one shot of a girl (and a faceless man sans jacket), which seems appropriate, since girls also smoke. But of the three ads in the campaign, two feature boys. So, in a nutshell: WTF? As much as I love the French -- and I do -- they're not always known for thinking things through.
Press embargoes are ridiculous. The thought of a publicist emailing you loads of precious news, then insisting that you can't talk about it for another two weeks -- I mean, JUST SEND THAT SHIT IN TWO WEEKS. Don't make me sit on it, prepping a post and setting it to publish one minute after the embargo expires. That's torturous and annoying for people whose lives revolve around beating their competitors to the punch.
Of course more often than not, the embargoed "precious news" is crap "pseudo-news" that no one will ever write about anyway. Still, the PR kids pester you to agree to the embargo, which makes the experience just as terrible. In all, the embargo system is a lousy one and journalists hate it. In fact, many of the better media outlets refuse to honor embargoes. I salute them.
So let's recap: who hates embargoes? Journalists. So what would journalists be very likely to write about? A funny video poking fun at embargoes. So if you work for an internet start-up that allows people to create their videos quickly and easily online, how do you get loads of free write-ups from widely read journalists?
Of course, now that I look closer, it appears that writer Steve O'Hear created the video, not the PR staff at XtraNormal. And that may be true -- but only because XtraNormal didn't think of it first.
Activists have long been preaching that the best way to win LGBT equality is for people to come out of the closet. And to a degree, that's true: John Doe's views on LGBT rights are more likely to weigh in our favor if he's personally acquainted with a friend, family member, or co-worker who's gay.
However, as we've learned from people like Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin (who may or may not have actual gay friends), the simply act of knowing someone from the LGBT community doesn't automatically make you an advocate for LGBT rights. And so the slant of the attack is slowly shifting to economics: the financial facts of equality.
Whether we like it or not, that's the sort of argument that works well with elected officials. Sure, you can argue that LGBT equality legislation is "important" or the "right thing to do", but taking the argument out of the bedroom (where conservatives like to place it) and putting it into the bank account can be far more persuasive.
As someone who works in the arts and advocacy, I can vouch for the effectiveness of this approach. For years, we told legislators that arts education made for happier kids, we even talked about the arts' positive impact on SAT scores, but no one at the capitol really started listening until we were able to say, "arts events and arts program provide a 7-to-1 return on the government's investment: for every $1 the state puts into arts funding, we generate $7 for our communities via gallery sales, dining out, hotel stays, small business purchases, and so on."
This particular ad from RockForEquality.org doesn't go quite that far -- it still relies partially on the "equality is the right thing to do" argument, and I also think it takes WAY too long to make its point. However, viewing LGBT equality through the lens of finance makes it much harder to argue against:
Am I a cold-hearted asshat for hating this piece of crap?
So yeah: this short film has been making the internet rounds. Me, I think it's pretentious (shot in black and white, backed by a crescendo of strings), it's predictable (oh, that was all a dream!), and it's the most derivative thing I've seen all year. It's like an over-long DeBeers commercial. As The Gays are fond of saying about theme parties: it's been done before, and better.
But whatever: don't just take a bitter queen's word. Judge for yourself:
John Mayer may have a new career. Let's hope, anyway.
After gum-flapper John Mayer told Playboy, um, EVERYTHING, he may have found an opportunity in the strangest of places. In between off-color comments and applauding Jessica Simpson's sexual enthusiasm, Mayer confessed that his dream was to "write porn." Vivid Entertainment, the adult film company that brought you Paris and Kim as you never wanted to see them, wants Mayer to to join the porn squad. TMZ reports that the Vivid's founder, Steve Hirsch sent a letter to loud mouth mcgee, eager to sign him on as a writer. One of Hirsch's points just has to be quoted. Has to be.
"We believe your incredible talent and passion, which have touched so many, can translate into a highly erotic adult film. Your understanding of the dynamics of relationships would undoubtedly appeal to both men and women."
I admit, #Glee is fairly awesome, but it wasn't the first TV dramedy to feature wacky musical numbers
Yeah, that's from the TV series Fame, which was Glee's early-80s equivalent. And yes, they're performing an "updated" version of Othello. (Or maybe Soylent Green.) I can only assume that Glee re-runs will be just as painful to watch 30 years down the line.
Well this is ridiculous (and wasteful and annoying).
Yes, that's a letter from the Census Bureau telling me to expect another letter from the Census Bureau. Which makes about as much sense as holding a meeting to schedule another meeting (which I do all the time, but that doesn't make it any less annoying).
Now, I understand what the Census Bureau is trying to accomplish. I get the train of thinking: "If we tell the public to expect the 2010 Census in the mail, they'll be on the lookout, won't throw it away. They'll be more likely to respond." But going about it this way is kind of like preaching abstinence to a room filled with only prostitutes and nuns. (I think that's a good analogy anyway. We'll see.)
People who actually read their mail (i.e. nuns) are going to open the official census questionnaire when it arrives anyway. They may be slightly more alert now that they know it's coming, but I'm guessing the effect of this heads-up letter will be minimal.
On the other hand, people who don't read their mail (i.e. hookers) aren't going to open this letter, so they won't be on the lookout for the actual census questionnaire -- which doesn't matter, because they'll probably just throw it out anyway. (NB: I'm not making a value judgment about prostitutes, but the ones I know lead such busy, interesting lives that they have little time for pedestrian matters like mail.)
For future reference, Mr. Robert M. Groves: spend your print budget on envelopes with a little spot color -- maybe a bright red, yellow, or orange. Something people will notice. That'll save you the cost of mailing letters to every household in America twice.
Here are seven of the top ten search phrases that led people just like you (well, hopefully, not just like you) to this very spot:
apollo anton ohno nude apolo ohno nude apolo anton ohno nude homoagoraphobia apollo ohno nude the crucible Very very very very very very old ladies glory holes
Which raises a very important question: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
New Orleans men have the biggest penises in America
Condomania tracked 27,000 men in 70 countries and declared New Orleans the BIG winner. Washington, DC came in second, with San Diego, New York City and Phoenix rounding out the top five. As far as the state-wide results, New Hampshire was the dark horse winner with Oregon, New York, Indiana and Arizona following.
In light of yesterday's debauchery, perhaps it's time to invest in a few Hieronymus Bosch figurines. You know, as a sort of memento mori-slash-dustcatcher?
Just between us, I can't believe they're real, either. But they totally are!
YouTube now offers a look at your download speed and how it compares to other users, which in turn, gives you an idea of how your ISP stacks up. Not surprisingly, AT&T sucks total ass:
Adorable man tells off the Catholic church, remains completely adorable
I know this clip is a couple of months old, and in it, I know that Stephen Fry doesn't say much that hasn't been said many, many times before, but his rebuke of the Catholic church is beautiful and eloquent, and frankly, if he is accepting applications for new fans/stalkers, I would love to put my name on the list. I never heard back from Frank Rich, so I've got an opening (in my schedule).
Of course, I am not now, nor have I ever been, a Catholic. But I was raised in a devout, Southern Baptist household, and from what my papist pals tell me, the experience is oddly and unpleasantly similar, only with more rulers to the hand and less green bean casserole. So although I may never have been to catechism class (or whatever they call it), I can entirely identify with what Mr. Fry is saying. Word up, ladies and gentlemen.
FYI, this isn't Fry's entire speech, but it's the best clip I can find on YouTube. The full bit is posted (in un-embeddable form) at DailyMotion.
Terrible screencap, I know, but trust me: those images have NOTHING to do with the text. Between this and those dancing aliens in mortgage banner ads, I don't know which is worse.
My sister posts a new radio show: I HATE AUTO-TUNE!
Yes, that's my sister (I make the same face; it's genetic), and yes, she's just posted a new radio show to BrooklynRadio.net. Technically speaking it's an anti-Auto-Tune set -- a tirade against the digital technology that's allowed frog-voiced famewhores like Heidi Montag, Spencer Pratt, Paris Hilton, and Kim Zolciak try their hand at being professional song stylists. However, in the mix of all the delicious low-tech realness (and quirky personal stories), sis has also included a great Mardi Gras tune by Bo Dollis and the Wild Magnolias. Says Tiff:
Happy New Year! I am back with a new show - Episode 52 - I HATE AUTO TUNE MIX!! I had to let it be known how much auto tune grates me! We are living in a musical age that will sadly be known as the "AUTO TUNE YEARS". My show is a sort of protest against the auto tune majority! So come join me and lets make this anti auto tune movement grow!! As always there's killer trax to be had. Groovy Blues from Buddy Guy, Willie Dixon, and Otis Rush. Rock out with Dr Feelgood. Get in the spirit of Mardi Gras with Bo Dollis and The Wild Magnolias. And kinda a newish track from the Killer! Yep, 74 years old and he's still got it! And LOADS MORE!!! Plus 2 boring stories from me! Enjoy!
During my final appearance as King Satyricon VII. My friend Brian did an amazing job on the costume (though the sparkly bits aren't quite as obvious in full flash). Photo by a completely different Brian.
FYI, no beheading was necessary. I went peacefully.
4) Did you know that Tom Arnold -- who may or may not be stark raving bananas -- was [supposedly seen] pointing that gun at his head after having a squabble with his wife?
5) Did you know that Tom Arnold has the worst campaign consultant ever? Because a talented consultant would never explain the aforementioned incident by saying, "Tom Arnold was not wielding a gun around the courthouse.... It was simply a disagreement between Mr. Arnold and his ex-wife, and it was a personal matter." WHICH INVOLVED A GUN.
6) Did you know that Tom Arnold's website features sentences, paragraphs, talking points, and beliefs borrowed from others? (Though technically, the blame for that falls to his site designer, Chip Quaglino, owner of Quaglino Advertising and Graphics, who recycled verbiage from previous campaigns he'd worked on with other candidates. Said the designer, "Sue me for not being overly creative or having time to sit down and do this." And he's got a point: surely it's crazy to think that that someone who builds creative content for his own ad agency would be creative.)
If the answer to any of these questions is YES, perhaps you should high-tail it to the nearest voting booth and ensure that the aforementioned motherfucker stays the hell off the New Orleans City Council.
In a world of bi-polar politicians, David Vitter stands out
I love seeing Republicans, Libertarians, and other "fiscal conservatives" bash Big Government, then pitch a hissy fit when anyone threatens to trim the budget of the oversized agencies in their district. NASA funding is a great illustration of that phenomenon, since much of NASA's work is based in Red States like Texas and Louisiana.
Case in point: our own Republican Senator David Vitter is forever screaming about scaling back the government, about reining in spending, about relying on the private sector to get things done. Basically, he's asking us to outsource. Not surprisingly, Vitter vehemently opposed the Big Three bailout (which, FYI, saved thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of U.S. jobs), but he gets rootin' tootin angry when NASA sustains a hit, as he did in 2008 when he claimed that outsourcing space travel was equivalent to letting the Communists win:
"Today's hearing focused on a number of very important issues facing the future of NASA not addressed in [President George W. Bush's] FY 2009 budget request. I questioned the NASA administrator about the lack of funding in the president's budget to accelerate the development of the Ares 1 Launch Vehicle and the Orion Crew Exploration Vehicle. The existing space shuttle program is due to be phased out by 2010, and if NASA is to continue with its tradition of progress and exploration we must move to address the gap in U.S. human spaceflight capability that will occur with the retirement of these vehicles.
"If we fail to accelerate the funding to close this gap, the U.S. will have no choice but to pay for our astronauts to travel to space in Russian vehicles. I am sure that most Americans will not be pleased to see us paying hundreds of millions of dollars to the Russians to send our astronauts into space at the same time we are laying off highly qualified, experienced and dedicated Americans who have been working on space shuttle programs for the past 27 years. NASA and the administration should examine whether it makes more sense to spend those hundreds of millions of dollars to close the gap rather than to pay the Russians to try to fill it," said Vitter.
This week President Obama announced his intention to terminate NASA’s Constellation Program intended to replace the space shuttle. The president’s budget calls for NASA to instead rely solely on so-called “commercial” space launch systems to take our astronauts into space.
Besides being bad for our nation’s space program, the president’s decision is particularly bad for Louisiana and the dedicated workers at the Michoud Assembly Facility in New Orleans who have been so integral to NASA since the days of the Apollo Program. If Constellation is completely abandoned as the president wishes, the effect on Michoud’s employees and the local economy would be disastrous.
Now don't get me wrong: I am a complete science nerd. I love NASA. I think it's a hugely important program. I just think it's ironic that a Jeebus-loving, Darwin-hating Creationist would be eager to throw money at a giant-sized government agency that's so rational, objective, and science-y.
The Nagin administration's rationale for moving City Hall?
Yeah, they said that "[T]he amount of work deemed eligible by FEMA for storm-damage repairs was not enough 'to restore City Hall to its former functional status.'"
I should not have to explain the hilariousness of that statement.
Fujita on his pro-gay marriage stance: "'It’s just me standing up for equal rights,' Fujita said. 'It's not that courageous to have an opinion if you think it's the right thing and you believe it wholeheartedly.'" [NYT via Jonno]
Activists have long been preaching that the best way to win LGBT equality is for people to come out of the closet. And to a degree, that's true: John Doe's views on LGBT rights are more likely to weigh in our favor if he's personally acquainted with a friend, family member, or co-worker who's gay.
